There were parts of church that were always good, and that pretty much boiled down to the music and teaching based on The Bible; singing and getting to sit as close to the piano player as possible and watching mesmerized as she played that beautiful music. Music has a way of touching the soul and creating a feeling of peace, calm and strength. You can definitely feel God in a song!
I always felt that what was taught about God should be based upon this one principal- "God is Love." Everything to be taught can be based upon this concept. It trumps all! If someone had the courage to step into a church for the very first time do they want to hear about how they are not good enough? Or do they need to hear about a loving and merciful Savior that loves them and takes them just as they are. He wants to take them as they are and renew them through the love of Christ, through this love they will be made new! It's not because God took them and made them become a certain way. It is because that person took God into their heart and soul, and felt the mercy of His love, felt the tenderness of His grace, felt the awesomeness of His power and became filled with the glory of His light! When you feel this love of God you want to do everything in your power to let him know he didn't make a mistake in loving you, you will show your love with obedience to His will and seek His plan for you! At this point of your conversion it will physically cause you pain, discomfort and anxiousness when you turn from doing what God has taught you to do. He has high expectations for His children because He has faith in us, that we can choose to do what is right and required of us to live again with Him someday! We just need to have faith in ourselves that we CAN do what He requires of us, because He loves us! We can do ALL THINGS through Christ who strengthens us!
I always got the idea that everyone at church believed if you just got baptized you would be saved and able to go to Heaven when you died. Sometimes the first question they asked was "Are you baptized?" I began wondering if they recognized the connection of faith and conversion to Jesus as tied to baptism. Sure, the preacher would ask if you wanted to accept Jesus into your heart, but did they ever teach what that meant? I very quickly came to the realization that I believed that baptism alone didn't ensure your salvation. I always had this idea of an old, old man laying in his hospital bed, knowing he was going to die soon and he had never gotten baptized. He wouldn't have time now, he was minutes away from death. He had lived a good life, trying his best to be a good man. His last prayer would be asking Jesus to forgive him of his sins and please come into his heart. Would Jesus deny this man his salvation? I always felt there would be a resounding 'NO!' That he would be saved because God is Love!
And then there was "the church" ...
I was constantly flabbergasted and caused pains of the heart when I was confronted with people as they are in church and the same people as they are when not in church. It seemed that the church was a place where people went to be with God and repent of any sins committed during the week, but once they left the church they were like "Oh, God is back at the church, he can't see me. I'll do what I want and then when I see God again on Sunday, I will ask Him to forgive me." This is when I realized that God is not in a church or a building of any kind. His goal is to live within us, a most Holy Temple; in our hearts, in our thoughts, in our deeds. Not just on Sunday but everyday, every second of the day! He says "Wherever 2 or 3 are gathered 'IN MY NAME' there I will be also." Wherever! That means He is everywhere when we bring Him with us! We need to be His ambassadors, and example of His love here on Earth, so others, when they see us will ask, what can I do to be like that? We have to be a shining beacon light of the Savior, bringing all within the sphere of His glowing light of love!
After so many years of this it's not hard to see why my mantra was that I didn't believe in church, I didn't see the value in organized religion and I didn't think any mere mortal could teach me more about God than I could learn myself through constantly praying, reading The Bible and striving to become a better person day by day, following the commandments of God.
But, remember...GOD IS LOVE! He wants us to be so close to Him you can feel Him breathe upon your soul, so He sends us one of His beacon lights. A person so filled with the light and love of God that you can't ignore it and you yourself realize that you can be even more of what God wants you to be! You can be even closer to God than you were. Even though you felt you were holding His hand-don't you want to be carried in His arms, laying your head upon His chest and feeling the beat of His heart beating within your own?
Meeting just such a person led me to give church another try. She felt so strongly that church was important and I couldn't for the life of me understand why she felt so strongly in this, but she wouldn't budge one centimeter in her belief. My curiosity piqued, and I found myself led to church. This church baffled me. The very first time I attended a meeting I found myself back in a habit of old. Previously when I had gone to church I often felt the prayers were harsh and would never let seekers know of God's love, so I would pray my own prayer while the preacher was praying. I so often prayed that people would come to know of His great love for them and know that He loved them and asked Him to help people learn of how to follow Him. While at this meeting, I bowed my head to pray and began to pray my own prayer while the speaker began his prayer. I noticed that he started out by saying almost the exact same thing I had started out praying. So I tried again, and again his prayer was my same prayer for the second sentence! I looked up in disbelief and felt the slow spread of a shining smile light across my face and for the first time in church I bowed my head back down and joined in with the group led prayer. It was an awesome feeling, where more than 2 or 3 were gathered and they were all gathered in Jesus' name. The Spirit of God was palpable at that moment. As I started going more diligently I realized the reason I loved going to church so much now, it was the way I had always envisioned a church should be, the church of my "fairy tale church" was real.
In this church, people from the congregation speak each week. They talk about what they have learned about living a faith based life and how it has led them closer to God. Their talks are backed up by articles and scripture passages that give directions and ideas of how to become closer to God. They then share that through living their faith daily, and constantly seeking ways to increase their faith they now have a great testimony of the truth they now so vehemently share. It is evident that most of the congregation strives to live a Christ centered life, not just on Sunday or when they are in church but everyday, wherever they are and wherever they go. But church does have a purpose!
Whenever you walk in you know you are in the presence of God and you are immediately wrapped in a hug by your very own Savior who loves you and will never leave you. This hug becomes permanent and you feel it everywhere you go throughout the week. Then as the week goes on and the glow of God's love might feel like it's starting to waver, you realize that it's almost Sunday and you can again gather in His name! Renew the strength of your faith, wash off the dirt of this sinful world and you can again be wrapped in His embrace as you enter into His presence once more! Your heart leaps for joy as you think of church and you realize you don't have to wait for Sunday, God is Love and He is always with you, just ask him to grab you in His loving embrace once more, giving you strength to make it through the week and then the great joy as you enter into the sanctuary on Sunday morning and open your heart to His lessons He has prepared solely and especially just for you, if you are willing to listen! You love having an entire day where you were commanded to rest and keep the day holy. This is a day you can reflect on God and how you are going to strive to be like Jesus. You begin developing your own testimony of His love and His truth, you become filled with that light and perhaps one day, you too will be someone else's beacon light of God's Infinite Love!
I look around me with a smile on my face,
In wonderment of all the beauty of this place,
He's made for me,
A place for joy, a place for peace, a place for love,
It reminds me of the Heaven I've been dreaming of!
Bring me Joy, bring me joy!
Everyday, This I pray!
To pass this joy to everyone who looks my way!
Let my light shine bright, a lighthouse of His love!
So others get a glimpse of Heaven up above!
Stand in Holy places, all blessings shall be yours!
Remember all the joy that He gives!
Love one another, and to yourself be true,
Fill your day with Kindness and be not moved!
By: Teresa Jeanine
April 19, 2013
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